But never, never in a million years that I ever thought I would really be going there. Oh come on, it's not a big deal. It's just another province. It's not like you're going to another country. Well actually, living in the biggest archipelago in the world, it is a big deal. Because when you said you're moving out to another province, there's 90% that province you're talking about is literally overseas. But, you know, not overseas overseas. It's just...across the sea. And being a developing country with unbalanced national development, visiting another island could really feel just like visiting another country. Not that I'm going to lament about the contrasting difference between urban area and rural area. I actually like rural. It's just...the distance that I must travel to go back to those I've grown to love...
Twenty-five (almost) years of my life, I have never left my hometown for a very long period of time. Now that I'm experiencing it for the first time, strangely, it almost feels like dying... That strange feeling like you won't be seeing these people you've been seeing all your life. You start to wonder how they would be living their life without you. Are they going to miss you? Are their lives just going to move on like nothing substantial happens?
Will they be okay?
Some times you sincerely hope they will. But other times you wish they won't because you want your presence to at least ever mean a thing. You are beginning to hold tight to those last moments you share with them. Secretly you don't want them to let you go, but who are you kidding, you're the one who's leaving...
So you begin collecting the "looks". You're taking mental pictures of how they would look at you if they knew they won't be able to see you again in a very, very long time.
But counting down the days to go is just ain't living and I just hope you know
That if you say goodbye today I ask you to be true
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
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